tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post8386978301785489364..comments2023-04-12T06:15:02.968-04:00Comments on Fantasy Debut: Writer Wednesday - Bonding with your CharactersTia Nevitthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05489109929908389257noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-541597674883328962009-08-06T14:10:50.004-04:002009-08-06T14:10:50.004-04:00Ooh, and I can see his true personality emerging o...Ooh, and I can see his true personality emerging over the course of the story.<br /><br />I think Voice will be a great topic. I'm going to try to find another featured writer, too.Tia Nevitthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05489109929908389257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-56376826895200903802009-08-06T10:33:46.420-04:002009-08-06T10:33:46.420-04:00Tia, right on with the elimination of adverbs! Th...Tia, right on with the elimination of adverbs! They're like commas, I go back and usually (obviously not always) hack most of them out, and spend an hour wondering why the hell I put them in to start with. <br />I fully intend, when I've got a moment, to pull out my computer and line by line compare my version and your version and get the pruning sheers. I'll have to work on the POV too. The lead character is Pony, but it's vital that her eventual companions have a voice too as much of the story revolves around how they feel about each other, how they perceive each other. It can be done, but it might take a good deal of rewriting. Bring it on! <br /><br />Thanks for your imput! I can't wait for voice next week. That's a great topic! Oh, by the way, interestingly enough, you're right about Ruger. He's mostly harmless, and at first, he DOESN'T have a huge personality, primarily because he's just used to being whatever 'smarter' higher ranked people tell him he is - big and stupid.Artemis Greyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10849091563671031929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-90779321166459052842009-08-06T06:34:18.815-04:002009-08-06T06:34:18.815-04:00Chic, a LOT of my novel is borrowed from my own gr...Chic, a LOT of my novel is borrowed from my own grandmother, who was born in 1895 and was thus a young woman in the 20s.<br /><br />Thanks everyone! I do love writing villains! My scene does a POV switch at this point to Ashley. I haven't written it yet, but it will be her first meeting of Haley as well.Tia Nevitthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05489109929908389257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-59178142932285268032009-08-05T22:28:32.430-04:002009-08-05T22:28:32.430-04:00Superwench, thank you. The dialect is sort of bor...Superwench, thank you. The dialect is sort of borrowed from my grandmother. I like to use it for gritty down-to-earth types in honor of her.<br /><br />Memory, thanks. I enjoyed the clash of a princess who hasn't really been out of the palace before meeting a kid who has to live by his wits.Chicoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04050860012522600837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-36518826018682032402009-08-05T22:22:03.782-04:002009-08-05T22:22:03.782-04:00Thanks, guys!
Tia, I especially liked the first p...Thanks, guys!<br /><br />Tia, I especially liked the first part of that scene. The understated dialogue made the menace stand out so much more, I think, than something more direct. And then it's followed up by a more tangible threat...quite effective.<br /><br />Isn't writing villains fun?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-1617400646806158572009-08-05T22:21:01.822-04:002009-08-05T22:21:01.822-04:00Tia, I like where Mike answers the question about ...Tia, I like where Mike answers the question about his sister with 'Miss Blaine,' like he's putting the guy back in place by reminding him of propriety. <br />The way you leave things hanging here (especially the threat against Ashley) makes me want to know what happens, even though I haven't actually met Ashley yet.Chicoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04050860012522600837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-3943952607841908452009-08-05T21:46:26.337-04:002009-08-05T21:46:26.337-04:00Thank you, Memory! This guy is really going to be ...Thank you, Memory! This guy is really going to be a major problem for both of them!Tia Nevitthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05489109929908389257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-2166846129628825952009-08-05T20:58:09.397-04:002009-08-05T20:58:09.397-04:00Chicory, I really like the dialogue you've got...Chicory, I really like the dialogue you've got going on there. And I think you're right; even in this short little scene, there's an interesting dynamic between the girl and the boy soldier.<br /><br />superwench83, I'm with Chicory: I love the atmosphere in that paragraph. It took me straight inside Johann's head. I can see why you connected with him.<br /><br />Tia, I really like how you've handled Haley's dialogue. He's obviously a dangerous guy who holds a grudge, and I sure don't envy Mike in having made an enemy of him.Memoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03922151273874989122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-90421573094842113592009-08-05T20:22:07.027-04:002009-08-05T20:22:07.027-04:00Ok, here's the villain I created today through...Ok, here's the villain I created today through OnlyTheBest's dialog method. Mike and Ashley are time travelers from the present day, stuck in the 20s. They're checking out a local speakeasy. And the local gangsters are checking out <i>them</i>.<br /><br />"So, who's this doll you came in with?"<br /><br />A frown creased Mike's brow before he could stop it. "My sister."<br /><br />"Your sister, eh? What's her name?"<br /><br />Mike met his gaze. "Miss Blaine."<br /><br />The guy returned his stare, his own eyes blank. With a chill, Mike realized that he was dangerous.<br /><br />"Grab him," the guy said.<br /><br />The two goons moved in and pinned Mike's arms behind his back. Twin pains stabbed through his shoulders, and he knew that if he struggled, he'd get one or more dislocated shoulders for his efforts.<br /><br />The leader moved in close. Mike could smell the cigarette smoke on his breath.<br /><br />"Maybe you don't know who I am since you're new in town. The name's Haley. That's Mr. Haley to you. I run this town. Even Mr. Mayor knows that. Now why don't you tell me--with a civil tone--Miss Blaine's first name?"<br /><br />After telling himself that Haley could easily find out anyway, Mike said, "Ashley." And he hated himself just the same.<br /><br />"Now as a result of our little conversation here, Mr. Blaine, I'm going to take some time to get to know the enchanting Ashley Blaine. Intimately well. And if I should ever have reason to talk to you like this again, you will not come out of it looking nearly this good." Haley flicked his cigarette ash into Mike's face. "Oh, and welcome to St. Augustine."<br /><br />The goons released him. Shaken, Mike watched as they walked back inside, followed by his goons. He massaged his shoulders for a moment, and then he followed them.<br /><br />("Mr. Mayor" is a placeholder until I determine the mayor's name from that period.)Tia Nevitthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05489109929908389257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-32781386357723195312009-08-05T19:38:23.576-04:002009-08-05T19:38:23.576-04:00Voice is a great topic idea. We'll do that nex...Voice is a great topic idea. We'll do that next week.<br /><br />Memory, I once wrote a short story all in dialect, from the POV of a colloquial narrator, a la Mark Twain. The story refused to be written any other way. I got some great feedback on it, but I never sold it. Granted, I've only sent it three places, which might be the reason! I tend to not be persistent enough when it comes to my short stories.<br /><br />Wench, I LOVED your excerpt! That was really some outstanding writing.Tia Nevitthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05489109929908389257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-15571769326474700432009-08-05T19:25:07.294-04:002009-08-05T19:25:07.294-04:00Chicory: Thank you! I just got finished reading yo...Chicory: Thank you! I just got finished reading your excerpt and really enjoyed it as well. The dialect is perfect. Writing dialect well is a tricky skill!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-84789790612958189532009-08-05T19:18:39.062-04:002009-08-05T19:18:39.062-04:00Superwench83: Wow. That's so atmospheric. I ...Superwench83: Wow. That's so atmospheric. I can see why you fell in love with Johann. He seems like someone who looks at everything with a poet's eyes.Chicoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04050860012522600837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-77397019813374425682009-08-05T19:14:10.163-04:002009-08-05T19:14:10.163-04:00This is the paragraph that made me realize Johann ...This is the paragraph that made me realize Johann was my book's hero rather than its villain. It was the turning point. I can't say <i>why</i> this particular glimpse inside of his head was such a revelation, but then again, I guess it's the small things that really make a difference sometimes.<br /><br />***<br /><br />Hefting the bag over his shoulder, he set out down the road. Shadows darkened around him as the sky turned from gray to navy, and wind clattered through the skeletal trees. He breathed in deep, his lungs feeling chill and fresh, his nose full of the smoky aroma of fall and the hint of frost ahead. He loved this time of year. Most people hated the transition time between autumn and winter. The absence of color, the bareness of the land, and no glittery snow sprinkles and shiny ice to brighten the earth. But most people didn’t know how to see. In the almost night, the silhouettes of the naked trees, unobstructed by the nuisance of leaves, could be observed in all their gracefulness. Black tendrils reaching up to heaven, arm-like limbs outstretched in a silent prayer, those barren trees were the most perfect thing Johann could think of. No more hiding their true selves under a cushion of leaves, the trees bared their bleak souls to the cleansing chill of winter.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-86139411256260184402009-08-05T19:08:58.899-04:002009-08-05T19:08:58.899-04:00This subject is one reason why I don't outline...This subject is one reason why I don't outline. I find it so much easier to bond with my characters when I give them free reign and let them reveal themselves to me. My favorite of all my characters was originally intended to be a villain, but once I got into his head and explored his past and his motivations, I realized that he was actually the hero of the book. I never would have discovered him if I'd let myself hold onto my preconceived notions of who he was.<br /><br />Character conversations and interactions with other characters are helpful to me somewhat, but for me, the real bonding between me and my characters takes place in the dark and secret places of that character's mind.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-86970809362273987932009-08-05T18:55:20.516-04:002009-08-05T18:55:20.516-04:00Here's a bit from a Twelve Dancing Princesses ...Here's a bit from a Twelve Dancing Princesses retelling I was working on awhile ago. (I figured things would be more interesting if the princess and soldier had met when they were kids.) The conversation really helped me get a handle on my lead characters.<br /><br /> "You're a coward."<br /> The boy's mouth twisted, and for a second I thought he wanted to hit me. "I ain't! I'm a soldier."<br /> The boy was no older than I was. His narrow face was streaked with grime. His patched coat hung to his knees and instead of buttons it was laced shut with frayed string. His feet were wrapped in rags. He was like some sort of animal, feral as a stray cat.<br /> "If you're a soldier, why doesn't your uniform fit?"<br /> "'Cause this ain't my uniform. Left it at home so as not to mess it up."<br /> "Why don't you have boots?"<br /> "Gave 'em away. Met this old woman what was hobbling along without no shoes, so I give her mine."<br /> "If you're a soldier, why were you with those unicorn hunters?"<br /> "I ain't. I'm in the woods jawing with an elf" (he spat on the ground and seemed mildly satisfied when I flinched) "what don't think nothing of wearing a king's ransom in diamonds for a shirt."Chicoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04050860012522600837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-69015822188553876272009-08-05T18:46:11.572-04:002009-08-05T18:46:11.572-04:00Ooh, that would be a great topic!Ooh, that would be a great topic!Chicoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04050860012522600837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-86001270500390351882009-08-05T18:44:41.099-04:002009-08-05T18:44:41.099-04:00Tia, I am a little worried about alienating some r...Tia, I am a little worried about alienating some readers, since I know many people don't care for more colloquial narrators, but I'm not sure I could work with this character in any other way. I'll be taking a close look at him during my next read-through, though, just in case.<br /><br />I love Raven's idea of a future Writer Wednesday about voice. It's been a big issue for me, since I have two protagonists in my novel and they both narrate in the first person. I'd love to hear how others approach it.Memoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03922151273874989122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-62129336320538860542009-08-05T18:19:44.413-04:002009-08-05T18:19:44.413-04:00For the record, I loved the chatty voice in Memory...For the record, I loved the chatty voice in Memory's excerpt, with just that one exception at the end. I think a voice like that is a great way to establish character.<br /><br />Narrative voice would be a cool topic for an upcoming Writer Wednesday. How distinctive do you make your voice, and assuming you write multiple works, how do you keep each and every POV character's voice distinct?Ravenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09792843423654460015noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-31384465429321888922009-08-05T17:06:14.170-04:002009-08-05T17:06:14.170-04:00And I ask you, what is normal? I'd say that my...And I ask you, what is normal? I'd say that my characters aren't particularly emotionally wounded, but I'd be wrong. Mike and Ashley are twins, and they have only each other in the world, having lost their parents before they were 25, and with no other close relations.<br /><br />Memory, I knew what you meant by starkers; I thought of it as crazy by the context. And I liked it. The voice was very chatty, speaking directly to the reader, which may not resound with all readers. I got dinged by an agent because my voice in Starcaster was too chatty with too much -- as she put it -- authorial intrusion. Your excerpt worked for me, but it may not work for everyone.Tia Nevitthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05489109929908389257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-71719560640326577542009-08-05T16:59:26.390-04:002009-08-05T16:59:26.390-04:00Grey, your POV does some shifting around, making i...Grey, your POV does some shifting around, making it somewhat difficult to follow. For example, you are in one head here:<br /><br />Ruger hadn’t known that the fellow he was following wasn’t a fellow at all.<br /><br />And then jump to the other head here:<br /><br />He was huge in height and breadth, and could overtake her regardless of her ill temper, but she didn’t intend to submit easily.<br /><br />And I noticed some sequences out of order. For example, this segment, which I have rearranged:<br /><br />Pony didn’t trust his intentions.<br /><br /> “And you thought I’d give it to you more readily after you’d thrashed me around a bit?” Turning her head, she let out a sharp, shrill whistle. <br /><br />Ruger startled when she whistled, but persisted in his venture, edging closer.<br /><br />“If you let me have whatever food you’ve got I’ll go.” <br /><br />Also, I think both you and OnlyTheBest would benefit from a ruthless elimination of adverbs. I trimmed them in the above excerpt. They can be very powerful, but only when you almost never use them. Think of them like pepper--a little goes a long way.<br /><br />As for your question, Pony has a lot of spunk, but I didn't really form an opinion of Ruger, yet. He seems mostly harmless.Tia Nevitthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05489109929908389257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-67122448180203561592009-08-05T16:58:25.530-04:002009-08-05T16:58:25.530-04:00Agreed. Characters with normal pasts are no fun to...Agreed. Characters with normal pasts are no fun to write, not to mention they're much harder to write (for me at least). Also, why would anyone want to read about somebody normal?! :)Ravenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09792843423654460015noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-81688588934473320712009-08-05T16:39:44.015-04:002009-08-05T16:39:44.015-04:00Characters with normal pasts are highly overrated....Characters with normal pasts are highly overrated. :)Memoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03922151273874989122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-22212290474320369652009-08-05T16:38:40.637-04:002009-08-05T16:38:40.637-04:00Raven and Memory, yes! The emotionally wounded ar...Raven and Memory, yes! The emotionally wounded are so fun. You just want to cuddle them. But my best friend has started asking me when I'm going to write about someone with a NORMAL past...Chicoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04050860012522600837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-42709912809843328802009-08-05T16:34:43.361-04:002009-08-05T16:34:43.361-04:00And Raven, I agree with you about emotionally woun...And Raven, I agree with you about emotionally wounded characters. Characters who have to overcome/deal with some past misfortune are so much more interesting to write. (And read!)Memoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03922151273874989122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5195356832263192713.post-62619239355256957062009-08-05T16:31:15.243-04:002009-08-05T16:31:15.243-04:00Eek, I thought starkers meant crazy! Maybe it'...Eek, I thought starkers meant crazy! Maybe it's one of those bits of dual meaning slang. I'll Google it.Memoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03922151273874989122noreply@blogger.com